Wedding Blues
A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began.
"I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer.
"I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell.
"I'm the groom."
Can You Speak Up a Little
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said,
"Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied,
"Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
Contacts
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her
license. He says,
"Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered,
"Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied,
"I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
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